Monday, December 31, 2007

Year 2007 - A retrospect


Last day of year...have been thinking of how this year has been ...

A mixed year of success and disappointments..

One of my dreams did come true...Parents visiting US. I was more than delighted to get to show them my university, the classrooms where I sat, the classrooms where I taught , the benches where I sat talking to friends, the labs where I worked , the apartment where I lived and the road where I used to walk to get to the university....my student life in the US..yes, it was indeed something which meant a lot for me and everytime I did something new, learnt something new in the US, I always wanted to show it my mom and dad and finally, was glad I could make it to true.

This year did make another dream of mine true...well this had been been a dream when I was still at school..that I should be working and be independent and be on my own...I am doing so now but somehow , am not as excited as I thought I would be. I would have been so...if I did this soon after the graduation but am glad that it came true though a little late.Do things always come late to me? Well as long as they do, good enough.If this is the pattern, I do desire for something now....it is already late...would I ever get it?

Other than that, this year had been an year of very strong emotions.... where I told myself to be strong when nothing worked out for me , at the same time I did realize ,at times, that I was very weak,tender and vulnerable and I could be hurt.I felt as if there is another person in myself ....felt ...never thought I could think this way..or never thought I could say this..and wondered..is this really me?...There were times when I cried silently ,when I wept asking God why isn't he giving what I wanted so dearly...when I just kept thinking and then asked myself if there was a point in thinking.Felt surprised with myself that how much ever I was upset or angry, everytime some other emotion is even more stronger and I behave as if nothing has happened ever.Probably I am optimistic in my thinking...how much ever I give an impression of a pessimist when people talk to me...I am optimistic I guess.

As I look back the year, I don't want to complain much now .I know I am in a better position than many other people in the world who are in need of many other necessary things to lead a day to day life. Thank you God and all the wonderful people in my life for yet another year .

Ups and downs ,mood swings ,deep thoughts and silent pondering made another year pass by in my life.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

:|

There have always been few favorite lyrics to me and favorite songs to me.
But listening to some lyrics or listening to a song ,at times... pains so much ...do I take the literal meaning of the lyrics or do I associate it with anything in my life?

It probably feels or reflects my mental state at times.Is that the reason it pains so much?

Hmmm!!!

Chale Hi Jaana Hai,
Nazar Churake Yu
Phir Thaami Thi Saajan Tumne
Meri Kalayi Kyu

Kisi ko Apna Banake Chod De, Aisa Koi Nahin Karta...

Yeah..random thoughts? Painful?

Saturday, December 01, 2007

మంచు కురిసే వేళ లో....



First snow fall that I ever witnessed...

I woke up in the morning and looked out of the window to see if it was snowing but it already did ,probably in the night and saw the traces of snow on the plants,on cars etc..
I felt,well..wish I had seen the snow fall itself..

Then in the afternoon, now,it started...snow fall...

How does it feel....brought in a smile to my face...had been wishing to see snow fall from many years and it became true..what do I want to do now...hmm..can't think of anything interesting..made coffee and stood near the window..just enjoyed the combination !!

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