Fixation
I have this fixation for things to work perfectly. If I am erasing the board, it has to be clean...I can't accept even a small dot remaining on the board . If I coloring something, there shouldn't be any uncolored patch. I was coloring today along with my niece and felt quite happy that I was coloring after a long time. (అల్ప సంతోషి ). Well even at that time, I was about to nag her that she wasn't coloring properly but then I controlled myself that she is just 3.
It brought me some memories on how I used to insist/have fixation on certain things.
I think this was before even I started going to school. I was playing with some peanuts , I guess . Eating some and playing with some and a neighbor who was probably in her early twenties stopped by , to play with me.
My mom asked me give some peanuts to her. Well..She didn't tell me "some". She said, "Sravya, L కి కూడా ఓ నాలుగు పెట్టు..." and guess what, I gave her exactly 4.
See...I could count quite well before even going to school.
Both of them laughed and I still remember that I was annoyed/offended.
Come on...thats what I was asked to?
Well..I must agree that even after starting to goto college, when Mom is busy cutting veggies and asks me to get her 4 onions from the basket, I exactly take 4.
Oops...Why do I take things so literally.
When I started going to school, as any other parents , my mom and dad told me not to go with anyone else from school, other than them.Little sincere Sravya's mind registered that very well.Our grandfather once came to pick us up from the school. Grandpa called me to come but I was nodding my head to say "No". What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all?
Is it this obsession that I can't think of anything else that is even slightly different than what I was told?
A whileback when I was still back in India, my dad and I were using some appliance and we had to time it for about 2-3 mins. I started to time and when my dad said he is going to switch off, I was like, No , wait for another 12 seconds. He frowned at me and was like, "What". I still wanted to insist , but couldn't really do so when dad frowned. It bothered me quite a bit that we weren't perfect (?)
hehe..how stupid..
That reminds me that whenever someone used to use thermometer(well, the mercury thermometes that we use under the tongue) at home, I again get into this obsession on measuring exactly for 2 minuntes and I refuse to let them take it out even a second before 2 mins. If they do so, guess what, teenager Sravya used to fuss that the thermometer probably didn't record the temperature properly and ask them to try again.
Hmm...stupid me !
1 comments:
so you need your things to be just about perfect! i read somewhere that we need to strive for excellence rather than perfection. i've second thoughts now!
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